All Hell Has Broke Loose
by The Scrawler
Summary: We all know that Hao's always been saying that Yoh's actually him. Something happens that only proves how right he is...except not in that exact manner. They switch bodies. Oh no! What will everyone do with a Hao who wants peace and a genocidal Yoh?
1. Oh crap

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King. Yay. Done. My first fic!

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Yoh's P.O.V

Yoh yawned as he tiredly pushed His dark auburn bangs out of his eyes. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the blue sky, and the sun. It was probably already late morning.

He wondered why Anna hadn't already come to beat the crap out of him for waking up late, as he sat up. The desert terrain stretched into the distance in front of him... HOLD ON! WHAT WAS HE DOING IN A DESERT? WHERE WAS HIS ROOM! AND EVERYONE ELSE! Yoh looked around. No sign of any threatening-looking blonde itako with two shikigamis hovering behind her. Or of Chocolove getting his nose stabbed yet again by Ren's Kwan Do for telling yet another lame joke...Or Manta yelling at them to shutup...

Right now, he was kind of wishing for Anna's Legendary Right Hand Slap to snap him out of this weird dream. If it even was dream.

Or maybe he'd caught some incurable disease and had died in his sleep... or gotten a blood clot in his brain, and died from the haemorrhaging, and was in the World Beyond waiting for Judgement. Wait. He didn't even know such a word as haemorrhaging existed! So how…Anyway, he WAS STILL DEAD. Maybe he'd been poisoned. That was probably why last night's dinner tasted like crap. Then again, Horohoro's cooking ( Anna'd made him do it after she found out that he was the one who'd cleaned out the fridge. He'd refused but Anna just threatened to do a number on him with her shikigamis.) NEVER FAILED to taste like crap. Or maybe Hao'd killed him. Nah. He was still saying how he needed his other half of his soul. Or maybe it was the X-laws. They'd always had it in for him since they found out that he was Hao's reincarnation. Well, part reincarnation.

**Flashback scene **

_-The X-laws appear and sacrificial music plays, with some weird bright light behind them- _

_Marco : You people are the same as that sinful Hao since you have the same power as him. And in Asakura Yoh's case, he is half of Hao. ALL THE MORE WE WILL NOT HESITATE TO ELIMINATE THOSE WHO SMELL THE SAME AS THAT EVIL MAN! _

_-Sacrificial music plays even louder, effectively deafening anyone within a 5km radius- _

_Yoh : - about to laugh out at the absurdity of the whole thing- Smell the same? _

_Marco: -takes out his gun spirit medium thingy- MICHAEL! ARCHANGELS FIRE! SHI-NE, ASAKURA YOH! _

**End Flashback scene **

Hey, it wasn't his fault that he WAS the half reincarnation of an evil shaman who lived 1000 years ago... It was his twin's fault for reincarnating himself wrongly...

Then again, he'd have probably been woken up by their crappy sacrificial music that seemed to follow them wherever they went. Maybe that Iron Maiden Jeanne had some gigantic hidden speaker in that metal headdress she always wore... Then again... If he'd really been killed, wouldn't Hao have resurrected him by now? He still needed his other half of his soul. Well, that was what he said.

But that still didn't change one thing- he was STILL DEAD. And in the Great Beyond! But that wasn't so bad... Anna wouldn't be able to use her Legendary Right Hand Slap on him anymore... he'd never have to keep on witnessing Horohoro and Ren argue over who was the bigger moron... He'd never have to worry about his older brother wanting to merge with him... He'd never have to do Anna's torturous training... Hao would rule the world, as Yoh, the only one supposedly able to come close to killing him was- HOLD ON! HAO RULING THE WORLD? THAT WAS BAD. VERY BAD. WHY ON EARTH DID HE THINK THAT WAS GOOD? If he ever got reincarnated, he'd be reborn into a world where every single living being bowed down to his crazy, psychotic twin... Asakura Hao!

Yoh groaned and pushed his bangs out of his eyes. It was then he noticed two things. He was wearing a red glove-thingy on his hand with a white star in the middle. And what looked liked the top portion of the Patch uniform.

" Hao-sama, daijoubu?"

" ARRRRRRRGHH! NO HAO, I'M NOT GOING TO MERGE WITH YOU- HOLD ON WHERE'S HAO- OPACHO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE-"

Yoh cut himself off. Hao-sama?

It was then that Yoh realized what happened. He promptly fainted.

" Hao-sama?" Opacho said, watching his great master, immortal shaman and the greatest of the Asakura Clan FAINT! Asakura Hao NEVER fainted. He just didn't!

" HAO-SAMA FAINTED!" Opacho screamed in terror, and began to run around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Mari, Macchi and Kanna appeared. Kanna slowly took a drag at her cigarette.

" Hmmm?" the blue-haired shaman inquired nonchalantly.

" HAO-SAMA FAINTED! HE HAS NEVER BEFORE! SOMETHING'S WRONG-" Opacho screamed, pointing at the greatest shaman and legendary Asakura sprawled on the ground, with his mouth stupidly hung open.

"HEY! Stop calling me Hao-sama! I'm not HAO! "Yoh had evidently recovered rather quickly, only to be cut off by Opacho's incessant screaming

" HAO-SAMA DOESN'T THINK HE'S HAO-SAMA! "

"H'mmm-" Kanna apparently didn't really see how terrifying this was.

" Hello? " Macchi broke in rather rudely- " If Hao-sama's behaving like that, does it mean he's gone CRAZY! " the redhead then began to panic even more at the thought of that.

"The shaman kingdom won't be created! " Mari began to gasp at the sheer horror of it all, her green irises widened, her blonde hair flying. The Hana-gumi began to panic.

" He'll forget how to reincarnate himself!"

"He won't collect his other half of his soul! "

" He won't win the Shaman Fight! "

" He'll let that green-haired guy kill him! I read somewhere that crazy people don't see the danger of getting killed- they just stand there and let the person kill them! They have no sense of danger! "

" And if he doesn't know how to reincarnate himself, HE MIGHT NOT BE REINCARNATED IN 500 YEARS TIME! NO SHAMAN KINGDOM-"

" URUSEI! " Yoh yelled in frustration. I'm not crazy! I'm YOH! Hao's twin- "

" HAO-SAMA THINKS HE'S YOH! "

" He's really gone crazy! OH NO! Those filthy ningens are going to plague this world for another 500 YEARS! " Macchi screamed, yet again, accidentally whacking Yoh in the face with her broom, causing Yoh to fall flat on his face. Normally, Macchi would have been horrified at hitting her master, but she was too busy panicking to notice it. Yoh's aura blackened darkly as he got up.

Maybe Hao's **0 Tolerance** of fools was beginning to rub onto him, combined with the fact that Yoh preferred more humane methods to the method of spontaneously combusting annoying people, which was Hao's usual method of disposing of ignorant fools, which caused Yoh to get severely annoyed, since he couldn't really do anything about the racket they were making... H'mm... it seemed that his reasoning was getting better...only to be jolted out of his thoughts by nearly being impaled in the head by one of Macchi's Guardian spirit's shuriken-like throwing weapon.

Yoh popped a vein. This was the first time...actually second time in his entire life that the cheery, happy, easy going Asakura Yoh ever got that irritated, or rather the great Asakura Hao ever got annoyed like that…

" SPIRIT OF FIRE! NOW IF YOU FOOLS DON'T SHUTUP, I'LL BURN YOU TO A CRISP!" Of course, Yoh would never actually do it, but he seriously needed them to be quiet. HOLD ON! HE WAS THREATENING PEOPLE! Hao had already rubbed off onto him!

" HAO-SAMA SAID ' DON'T '- THE WAY THOSE NINGEN MAGGOTS SPEAK! " Opacho screamed again, this time running smack into Kanna.

Yoh now had several irritation marks, and looked like he would just get the Spirit of Fire to stomp on Opacho, and put him out of his misery. Yoh then panicked. He THOUGHT of killing somebody! Being inside Hao's body was seriously corrupting his mind! Asakura Yoh wasn't the bloodthirsty I-want-to-wipe-out-all-humans Asakura Hao!

Yoh passed out yet again, much to the fright of Opacho and the Hana-gumi.

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Hao's P.O.V

Hao opened his eyes tiredly, only to be met by a plain ceiling. HOLD ON. WHERE WAS THE DESERT, AND ALL HIS LOYAL COMRADES! He sat up in a hurry, only to notice that his clothes were different. He ran his hand through his hair, only to find out that his dark auburn hair ended a few inches above his shoulders.

" NOOOO! MY HAIR! WHO LOPPED OFF MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR! WHEN I FIND HIM, I'M GOING TO BURN HIM TO A CRISP! "

" SPIRIT OF FIRE- " Hao gasped. His voice sounded different- higher, more cheery, and was that the garish-looking orange headphones his other half always wore…?

He had a horrifying suspicion.

Oh no. This had better be a nightmare, he better not really be stuck in _**its**_ body!

Maybe it was retribution from the Great Spirits...for breaking one of Yoh's headphones- SHIT! He was thinking like that idiotic Yoh! Asakura Hao's perfect mind was not about to be corrupted by his lazy, idiotic other half/ younger brother's body.

Hao screamed in terror, only to be met with the screen door exploding, revealing a blonde girl with two shikigamis hovering behind her.

" Yoh, why are you making such a racket? " Anna Kyouyama asked, her arms folded, Hao's shikigamis hovering dangerously near.

" ME? You give me back Zenki and Kouki! " Hao said, forgetting that he was in Yoh's body, and therefore wasn't making a lot of sense, and angrily pointing at the shikigamis.

" Your shikigamis? I thought they belonged to Hao? " Anna said, raising an eyebrow.

" I AM Hao! Now give me back my guardian spirits! "

All that Hao got was a punch in the face from Zenki, which nearly resulted in a broken nose.

" Stop kidding around, Yoh, or I'll make you do 1000 push-ups. " The blonde girl glared at Hao icily.

" You-you! Just because you're my mother's reinc-" Hao said, thinking of the fact that Anna was the reincarnation of his dead mother from 1000 years ago. He clapped his hand over his mouth. Now he was talking even more nonsense. His mind was getting corrupted already! All that precious knowledge he'd stored for 1000 years was going to be corrupted by Yoh's stupidity! Oh shit! Plus Asakura Hao had never shot his mouth off and said stupid things like that in 1000 years! His reputation was already in shreds. Then again, Anna didn't know he was Hao…

" Yoh, what kind of nonsense is this "I'm your mother's what-? Care to explain? " Anna said, annoyed.

" I'm HAO! AND YOU'RE THE REINCARNA-"

" Yoh, stop trying to fool me. 1000 push-ups later." With that, the blonde itako left the room, not without having Zenki slug him across the room again.

Hao angrily rubbed his bruised cheek. Thanks to a certain unfortunate event occurring now, he no longer had his healing powers. Normally, he always kept his cool, but due to certain circumstances, he was really in a bad mood now.

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" Hey, look who's finally down for breakfast!" the boy Hao recognized as Horohoro said cheerily. "Got into some trouble with your fiancée? " he asked innocently, noticing Hao's bruise.

Hao's aura simply blackened and he glared very threateningly at the Ainu. Horohoro yelped and hid behind Pirika. Hao merely sat down and grabbed his cereal and began eating silently.

-I wonder if Yoh will find out that I put a whole bottle of laxatives in his cereal... Hehe. Nah, he's too laid back to suspect anything.-

Hao narrowed his eyes. So there was one ability he still kept, his rei-shi (Soul Sight) It was fortunate he'd only had a spoonful of the cereal. Hao glared menacingly at Horohoro. In his current mood, he wasn't exactly in the mood for any crap. Laxatives? That stupid Ainu wouldn't dare do it if he knew that it was Asakura Hao he was messing with, not cheery overly-obsessed about oranges Yoh. Hao toyed with the idea of either burning the ice shaman to a crisp or simply using Yoh's oversoul to very painfully dismember his body. Something simpler would settle for now. Did that baka have nothing better to do? Hao picked up his bowl. And threw it smack at the Ainu's face, splattering the milk everywhere.

Everyone stared in surprise.

" Yoh! What you'd do that to Onii-chan for?" Pirika angrily demanded.

" You shouldn't waste laxati-" a gigantic net catching him in the face cut off Hao. That was the final straw. He'd had enough of these fools' nonsense. Hao expertly twisted the net out of Pirika's hands. He grabbed the handle. And snapped it into two. Everyone was silent.

Pirika stared in shock, as the wooden splinters littered the floor.

Ren smirked.

-Baka Yoh. Pity he's so blur and too laid-back. No wonder he can't do much with his powers. And Hao. Delusional, psychotic evil shaman. That's gonna cloud that guy's judgement.-

Hao turned to glare very pointedly at the Chinese shaman. If that fool shut up, he might reconsider skewering that idiot on Yoh's oversoul.

" Hmph. With that bad mood of yours, Yoh, you're gonna lose all your fights. You're beginning to behave like that demon Hao."

" Ren!" Jun said with disapproval.

Demon.

That hit a nerve. Hao was silent for a moment, remembering the events of 1000 years ago.

Flashback

_The two demon shikigamis turned into a small ball and floated down alongside him. _

_" Thank you for getting rid of those demons. We are grateful to you." That man said, with a false smile. Everything about him was false. What everyone said. They were all liars. Deep in their heart they didn't mean it. And Asakura Hao knew it. _

_-What a frightening man. He must be a demon! - _

_-Don't turn around or he'll kill you!- _

_-How can anybody be so powerful? Surely he is not ningen, but a powerful evil being in disguise, trying to deceive us!-_

_-He's a MONSTER!- _

_-Oni. Youkai. He's either. That freak can't be human. I wonder why they haven't gotten rid of this monster yet.- _

_-I bet that demon is putting up a show, making himself look like he's a good person.- _

End Flashback

Hao's eyes narrowed slightly, but his face otherwise betrayed no emotion.

" Pitiful." Ren said, not expecting what was to come next. In a flash, Hao had Yoh's oversoul at Ren's throat.

Hao nonchalantly raised an eyebrow and smirked " If you do not shut up, you pathetic fool, I will not hesitate to skewer you through your throat, and end that pathetic life of yours right now. You ought not to be a shaman. You behave as foolishly as those lowly _ningen_ maggots." Pronouncing the word human with absolute distaste.

Everyone's eyes widened including Amidamaru's, who was currently trying to get out of his oversoul form, they'd never seen Yoh threaten somebody like that, and acting so casual, even Ren, like that. That wasn't like Yoh at all. Hao then strolled out of the room, with an ominous air of silence, like nothing had happened.

Anna's eyes narrowed. Something definitely was going on.

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******My first fic. Review, pretty please?**


	2. Even more trouble

**Disclaimer : I do not ****own Shaman King. It belongs to Hiroyuki Takei. **

**Here's the next chapter. **

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With Hao and the rest…

_Hao nonchalantly raised an eyebrow and smirked " If you do not shut up, you pathetic fool,I will not hesitate to skewer you through your throat, and end that pathetic life of yours right now. You ought not to be a shaman. You behave as foolishly as those lowly ningen maggots." _

_Everyone's eyes widened including Amidamaru's, who was currently trying to get out of his oversoul form, they'd never seen Yoh threaten somebody like that, and actingso casual, even Ren, like that. That wasn't like Yoh at all. Hao then strolled out of the room, with an ominous air of silence, like nothing had happened. _

_Anna's eyes narrowed. Something definitely was going on. _

" Um, Anna-chan..." Tamao said nervously as she stirred her drink.

The blonde Itako looked up. " What is it Tamao?"

" Anna-chan...Do you think that Yoh's mentality is becoming affected by the fact that he used to be part of Hao? Do you think…he's beginning to behave like Hao?"

" Iie. Yoh is Yoh. He will never be Hao." Anna said calmly.

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1 hour later...

Everyone is seated inside the tearoom… feeling bored. Yoh (well, _they _thought it was Yoh ) was actually doing something instead of sleeping ( glaring at everything inside the house that was manufactured by humans ), which everyone found extremely disturbing as Yoh usually always tried to find an opportunity to sleep.

Horohoro and Ren were arguing over who had a more powerful oversoul, which kind of led to a sparring match outside, that kind of led to Horohoro, being too careless, and crashing a giant icicle into the house, which kind of led to them facing Anna's wrath, and _that_ kind of led to the two of them being forced to clean the toilet (after they got beaten up quite badly by Zenki and Kouki) and wait on Anna.

Everyone (except Ren and Horohoro who were still cleaning the toilet) were basically sitting in a (and Yoh (or rather, Hao), who was STILL glaring at human-manufactured products) circle listening to another of Chocolove's lame jokes, but they had nothing better to do, so they figured that was better than nothing…until…

The screen door burst open, and Horohoro ran in…covered in er, _something _(you probably rather not know) that was kind of brown and kind of stank too, not to mention the fact that the brown stuff was dripping all over the floor. That led to Manta fainting from the horrible smell, and Ryu running outside to vomit.

" Er… we _kind of_ choked the sewage pipe, and we used the plunger wrongly and…" the Ainu said sheepishly, cowering behind Jun, from a very murderous looking Anna, who looked liked she would use her Legendary Right Hand Slap (but then again, she probably wouldn't want to touch Horohoro now). Jun hurriedly moved away from the stink, and covered her nose and Horohoro was left vulnerable to face Anna's wrath.

Anna continued to glare at Horohoro, probably running through in her head the best ways to make the Ainu die a horrible and painful death.

" And where's Ren?" the itako simply asked, probably debating on how much harm she should inflict on Horohoro.

" Uh…trying to control the unstoppable flow of…_muck _escaping from the sewage pipe-"

" NANI! NII-CHAN! YOU SHOULD BE HELPING HIM AND SHOUTING FOR HELP BEFORE THIS WHOLE PLACE GETS FLOODED WITH SEWAGE! " Pirika shouted.

No one reacted for a minute. Then it made sense. Flooded…sewage. When both were combined, the aftermath would usually be VERY BAD (and stinky).

Everyone panicked, as they dashed towards (being careful enough to step over the muck that was dripped onto the floor) the toilet to survey the damage. Even Hao decided that stopping the whole place from getting flooded with sewage evidently had higher priority than glaring at things created by those disgusting humans.

When they neared the toilet, what they saw wasn't pretty. In fact it was probably the ugliest and most disgusting sight ever since the beginning of time.

A pool of _stuff_ was slowly flowing towards them, creating a terrible smell, getting fouler by the minute. They could hear the faint sounds of someone hitting a pipe.

" HEY! YOU BAKAS! STOP STANDING THERE LIKE THAT! HELP ME OR SOMETHING, YOU STUPID MORONS! " A figure practically dressed in the…stuff…jumped out, holding the toilet plunger (it was the only thing that could probably help them though it was meant for the toilet bowl) in place of his Kwan Do. Everyone grimaced in disgust.

" ARRRRGGGGH!" Chocolove screamed in fright …and slipped and fell facewards into the disgusting pool of_ muck_. And splashed it up onto the other shamans, who couldn't duck in time, but nevertheless tried, and ended up crashing into each other, which led to all of them falling into the pool of sewage leaking from the toilet, and becoming dirtier then ever.

Hao glared angrily at the toilet as he got up (while covered with the disgusting sewage). _Stupid, troublesome ningen conveniences. _Horohoro gulped as he saw Hao's aura blacken very darkly, and elected to position himself furthest away from the enraged Asakura (he'd already gotten into trouble for the laxatives this morning).

" HEY! MORONS! I'M HOLDING THE –pukes- (apparently Ren couldn't take the disgusting smell anymore) DAMNED PIPE WITH THIS LOUSY PLUNGER AND MY FURYOKU! WILL YOU ALL COME HELP OR SOMETHING? AT LEAST DO SOMETHING! "

At first no one reacted, and Hao merely glared at the pool of sewage muttering something like-_ useless ningen innovations. See how troublesome they are_ - , Horohoro merely looked sheepishly at Anna, who looked liked she would very painfully dismember him instead of making his end fast and quick, Jun checking if her seals were dirtied by the sewage, Pirika doing her fair share of glaring at Horohoro, Ren futilely trying to stop the pipe rivets from unscrewing from all the pressure ( as the pipe was linked to that of the next door houses)…before another of Ren's shouts jolted them out of their daze. Then it dawned onto them.

" Okay! Chocolove, Pai Long, Yoh and Horohoro go help Ren.-" Anna was interrupted by a _very_ loud gurgling noise. And the ominous sound of water pouring out.

" _Oh crap,_" Chocolove said, knowing what those sounds signalled. " Run! Everybody! NOW!"

All the shamans made a mad (except for Ren) dash down the narrow, slippery corridor, which resulted in some people slipping and falling, and _that _caused even more people to slip and fall, so only Horohoro and Hao making it out in time, but Horohoro unfortunately ran smack into Ryu who had just come in after puking for a full ten minutes, causing Hao who was right behind the ice shaman to trip, which led to the three of them tripping and falling over each other, and Manta, who finally woke up from all the racket glanced at the incoming wave of sewage in horror, and quickly ran upstairs, only to be blocked by the giant icicle that was created by Horohoro and was halfway melting.

Hao glared at the Ainu, whose leg was currently inches away from his face. He forcefully pushed the two shamans who were squashing him away, and got up crossly muttering something about humans being stupid and troublesome enough to create even stupider and more troublesome devices that just caused more stupidity and trouble.

" What's up with Master?" Ryu asked, confused.

Horohoro shrugged, " He's been like that since this morning.

Some people who passed the house and saw Horohoro and Ryu smelled the sewage puked all over the two shamans, covering them with more disgusting residues. Horohoro and Ryu just proceeded to cry a whole lake at their misfortune, which led to Hao glaring at them even more.

Chocolove, determined _not_ to be touched by the sewage, had oversouled Mick, in the hopes that his guardian spirit could smash a hole through the wall and help him escape, but unfortunately, part of the icicle was there, and it landed on Chocolove's head, effectively knocking him out.

All the other shamans couldn't make it in time…and well…they were left to a rather horrible, disgusting and smelly fate.

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Yoh's P.O.V

After trying and failing to reason with the Hana-gumi and Opacho for one hour, that he was Yoh, NOT Hao, in which Mari said that he had gone crazy, and proceeded to panic even more, Yoh continued walking.

Yoh fumed (he's been having lots of bad moods since he got stuck in Hao's body), as the Hana-gumi and Opacho proceeded to come up with _yet_ another scenario on what might happen since he was 'crazy', this one being the 999999999th one, in this case, the scenario in which he would turn the future Shaman Kingdom into a life-sized version of CandyLand.

Yoh popped another vein, beating the world record of 4354 irritation marks by one.

" AND NOW FOR SCENARIO #1000000000! THE ULTIMATE DISASTER OF ALL TIME! THE WORST SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME-" Kanna proclaimed, only to be cut off by a large burst of fire where she had been standing earlier. There was a dark scorch mark on the ground, and a very murderous looking Hao ( actually Yoh ) standing on top of the Spirit of Fire.

" TEME! " Yoh yelled as he proceeded to chase after the fleeing Hana-gumi and Opacho, who were now screaming so loudly that anyone unfortunate enough to be within a 10 km radius got their poor eardrums bombarded by the horrible racket.

" THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT KANNA! " Macchi said angrily, while dodging the fire blasts.

" NO IT'S NOT-AHHHHHHHHH!" Kanna screamed hysterically as her clothes caught fire.

" OH NO! KANNA! WHO'S GOT A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!" Mari yelled in terror.

The group ran (including Kanna, who was now relying only on her furyoku to keep herself from getting burned to a crisp by Hao's Spiritual Fire.) not noticing that Yoh had stopped and was beholding the sinful, horrible things he'd done (including destroying the landscape, which now sported several large, ugly scorch marks.), and had broken down in tears, until they saw a fire extinguisher lying on the ground, half buried in the sand ( don't ask. It's just, er, there!).

Before Macchi could pick it up, and douse Kanna in the substance, Opacho stood defensively in front of it.

" What's your problem? MOVE IT! " Mari glared at Opacho.

" NO! I WILL NOT LET YOU USE THE FIRE EXTINGJUISHER! " Opacho said stubbornly.

" IT'S EX-TIN-_GUISH_ER! "

" FINE! BUT DON'T YOU DARE-"

" MOVE IT, SHEEP (Opacho can take the form of a lamb) ! " Macchi whacked Opacho with her broom.

" NO! WE MUST NOT USE THINGS THAT THOSE PITIFUL _NINGENS_ USE FOR CONVENIENCE! " Opacho stood over-determinedly over the much-needed fire extinguisher.

" EXCUSE ME, YOU STUPID PRIG! I AM NOT ABOUT TO BE BURNED TO DEATH! NOW GIVE ME THAT DAMNED EXTINGUISHER, MY FURYOKU CAN'T HOLD UP ANY LONGER!" Kanna said, kicked Opacho _very_ forcefully aside, and grabbed the fire extinguisher, employed it, effectively putting the fire out.

One minute later…

The Hana-gumi see the distant figure of 'Hao' approaching. And screamed. Because Hao was smiling, and that usually meant that he'd gotten a very _good_ idea of how to torture them…for, erm, not obeying him. And knowing Hao, this wouldn't be pretty.

" Hi! Gomen nasai for earlier! " Yoh said, still smiling (even though the earlier situation was kind of serious and would usually require a 100 page essay to be explained, but Hao just didn't need to apologize, coz he was Hao and could do whatever he liked. And Yoh just DID see the need to apologize.) .

No one reacted. The Hana-gumi stood still.

Opacho's eyes widened in sheer horror. " Hao-sama…" was all the African shaman could manage.

" Peace! " Yoh flashed the peace sign, hoping to get them to react. Bad choice.

That was the final straw. The figure of Opacho cracked into pieces, unable to take it that the apocalyptic Asakura Hao had apologized and sought world peace.

" Peace? " Mari gasped in horror.

" Hao-sama actually apologized! And he said _**PEACE**_! OF ALL THINGS! WHAT'S GOING ON! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE HAO-SAMA WHO-" Macchi shrieked.

" -WHO HAPPILY HELPED US DISPOSE OF THOSE UGLY FILTHY NINGEN MAGGOTS BY SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION! OR DISMEMBERED THEM PAINFULLY WITH THE SPIRIT OF FIRE! OR-" Opacho sat up and shrieked.

Yoh, beginning to feel extremely offended at Opacho's long list of how Hao killed people, could take it no longer.

" URUSEI! HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE BE SO INHUMAN AND KILL INNOCENT HUMANS! DON'T YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A CONSCIENCE!" Yoh yelled, and this large fiery background appeared behind him.

Kanna's eye twitched. Opacho gasped, and fainted (again). Mari and Macchi just stood there, frozen; their mouths hung open in shock.

" RIGHT! WORLD PEACE'S THE WAY TO GO! " Yoh said cheerily, which looked kind of awkward on Hao's body.

" But…Hao-sama didn't you say before that you wanted to wipe out all humans and…" Mari asked in confusion.

" When did I say that-" Yoh then sweatdropped. Oh right. _Hao_ said that. Well since I'm in Hao's body, I ought to take advantage of the situation. " Uh, I changed my mind! " He said rather unconvincingly.

" It will be too late to change your mind, Asakura Hao and your subordinates. " A feminine voice said.

-_sacrificial music plays- _

Yoh turns around… to see the X-LAWS!

Yoh's first thought was_ oh crap. _

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**So how's the second chappie? Please review! Thanx anyway. **


	3. More Lunacy

**Here's chapter three! Sorry for taking so long to update, but I accidentally erased my whole chapter, and I didn't have any copies, so I had to recall everything and retype the whole chapter again. I'll try to put up the next chapter as soon as possible. Sorry, but I'm not really going to do any pairings. Well, at least none that I know of yet. And no, I am not going to kill Mistress Jeanne off (just maybe put her out of commission for a while). Well, we'll see. For now, enjoy this chappie!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King. **

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After the horrible mess had been cleaned up by (and only) Horohoro, since Anna had deemed it entirely his fault, and everyone had showered in the bathrooms upstairs, everyone sat in the tearoom again, still bored. Horohoro was still showering, and he'd been forced to go last. Anna even took the liberty to cut off the water heater, not caring whether said shaman would catch a chill.

Everyone sat in the tearoom…doing nothing, like before Horohoro caused the whole disaster. Just then, the screen door slid open, and said Ainu popped in, looking refreshed from the shower (even though it wasn't heated).

" Hi! How's it going?"

No one reacted. Or rather they did, by glaring at Horohoro, who winced internally.

" I believe I owe you something," Anna said ominously, holding the 1080.

Horohoro gulped. When the end (not, more like unconsciousness) came, he welcomed it.

4 hours later…

" Did you guys have to be so brutal? " Horohoro wailed, now sporting bandages and bruises in several areas, one arm in a sling, while the other arm could barely hold onto a crutch.

This was the aftermath after everyone had done their fair share of beating on the unfortunate Ainu.

Apparently, after Anna did a number on him with her shikigamis and her Legendary slaps, and getting assaulted multiple times by Ryu's Mountain Hydras Oversoul Form, Chocolove had set Mick on him, and chased him out to the streets. Horohoro had started screaming his head off on the streets, after a truck nearly hit him, with the jaguar guardian spirit hot on his heels. As the disturbed pedestrians were not shamans, they couldn't see Mick, so seeing some weird blue-haired guy screaming his head off for apparently no reason while running away from seemingly nothing, and nearly get squished by a truck in the process, they rang up the mental hospital, thinking that Horohoro was crazy. The hospital dispatched a unit that rather forcefully subdued Horohoro and brought him to the mental hospital, where he was forced to wear a straitjacket and got locked up in a padded room. It took the other shamans 2 hours to find him, and another hour to convince the hospital staff that Horohoro had just taken too much coffee, candy and an over dosage of cough medicine, and that caused him to hallucinate.

The explanation was rather feeble and unconvincing, but as Ren had put it, the hospital staff probably just didn't want to have to deal with Horohoro, and were only too glad to be rid of him (that comment earned Ren a glare from the unfortunate victim).

" That whole mess was all your fault, stupid," Ren glared at Horohoro.

" Why you-" Horohoro tried to stand, but yelped instead in pain and sat back down. You couldn't exactly walk very easily with a sprained ankle (he'd sprained it after tripping and falling on his face while trying to run away from the hospital staff who were very well armed with hypodermic needles).

Hao didn't look up or bother to add a comment to what he would have called a 'stupid and pointless' argument. He just continued glaring at the useless things that the stupid humans had created, and running through his mind what to do with stupid and troublesome idiots like a certain blue-haired Ainu in the room.

Ren continued. " I'd sooner rather that truck really hit you. Then we wouldn't have to deal with your lunacy anymore, baka."

" I'd pick paying for your hospital bill orthe casket company over having to practically baby-sit you and explain to everyone about your stupid behaviour any day." Chocolove didn't seem in a wisecracking mood today.

" Well, pardon me, but I believe that it was _you_ who set Mick on me." Horohoro glared.

" Well, you didn't have to start screaming your head off. And you could've tried to perform your oversoul and subdue him," Chocolove countered.

" Plus Mick couldn't really do anything to you since he wasn't in his oversoul form, so basically, you were running for nothing. He'd probably only be able to growl very threateningly at you, and maybe try to claw you. You're so stupid." Ren added.

Horohoro made an attempt to stand, and somehow succeeded, and was about to limp his way to Chocolove and Ren to thrash them the best he could while being swathed in bandages and hobbling on a crutch, before he found himself on the floor, his face inches away from having a close encounter with a vase.

He could see Ren smirking.

Yoh stood over him, one foot stuck out where he'd evidently tripped Horohoro. Jun's eyebrows raised in slight surprise. Yoh, for one, was the last person who would probably try a nasty trick like that on his friends.

" Yoh! Why'd you trip Nii-chan! The broken vase could have hurt him! " Pirika didn't seem too happy.

"Who cares?" Hao shrugged nonchalantly and went back to sitting on the couch.

Hao's nonchalant reaction caused Pirika to get rather agitated and pop a vein, and to try to maim Hao in some way, had Ryu not restrained her.

Horohoro painfully got up from his position on the floor and glared at Hao, before trying to go over and inflict some harm on _him_ instead. His progress was stopped rather rudely by his crutches, which he hadn't noticed in his anger. Everyone winced as yet another thump resonated throughout the whole of the Asakura residence.

Horohoro very painfully got up for the 100th time that day.

Manta sighed, while wincing at the pain at his head, where he sported an ice pack after smashing head-on with Horohoro's icicle. " 4 accidents already in less than half a day. Man, why are you so accident-prone? At least don't involve us in your stupidity."

Horohoro just decided to sulk on the floor, and perhaps, drown in his stupidity (As Ren put it rather nastily).

Hao went back to thinking about the whole body-switching experience. _H'mm. If I'm stuck in my idiot other half's body, which means…OH SHIT! That moron is probably making a fool of himself and behaving like a lunatic in my body! No way- _

Hao was jolted out of his reverie by something colourful and pink flying towards him.

He instinctively put Yoh's over-souled katana in front of him, and neatly sliced the flying object in two.

" YOH! HOW COULD YOU RUIN THIS COLLECTORS' EDITION OF CANDYLAND!" Horohoro wailed, picking up the two burnt halves of the board game.

Hao raised an eyebrow, " So? And that guy looks weird. " Motioning to a candy-decked character.

Horohoro glared at Hao menacingly, clutching his precious ruined board game.

" I SPENT 5 HOURS QUEUING UP FOR THIS COLLECTORS' EDITION YOU KNOW! I BOUGHT IT ONLY JUST LAST WEEK! I HAVEN'T EVEN PLAYED WITH IT ONCE! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! TEME! " Horohoro lunged at Hao, as well as he could lunge with a swollen ankle, and fell on his face _yet _again.

" So that's where you went last week, after you made Yoh and Ryu do all the lunch dishes and only came back at 3a.m the next day, " Tamao said.

" From lunch to 3AM? I thought you only queued up for 5 hours!" Chocolove said in shock.

" Well, the toy fair was in Kyoto, so I ran all the way there, but any way it was worth-"

"-the 40 degrees Celsius fever, swollen ankle, severe dehydration and pneumonia you got the next day! I think not! It was so troublesome. I had spoon feed you your food for 3 days. And why on earth did you go through all that for that stupid board game?" Ryu yelled in protest, remembering the horrifying experience.

" It's not my fault you drew the short straw (they'd drawn straws on who was going to take care of Horohoro since no one seemed particularly interested, and Ryu happened to be the unfortunate person who got stuck with the task)… but anyway…IT'S NOT STUPID!" Horohoro yelled, before Anna whacked him upside the head, temporarily knocking him out.

3 seconds later, the Ainu shot up and ran into the kitchen. Hao resumed thinking of ways to make Horohoro die a horrible and painful death. Pirika was frantically looking for medication to cure her brother's retardedness.

Hao was interrupted at his 190th way by _yet _another projectile being hurled at his head.

Hao fumed as he took out Yoh's katana and sliced the orange in two. It landed on the floor with a splat.

Horohoro was gaping in shock, his mouth stupidly flung open. Anna just raised an eyebrow.

" What's wrong with you, idiot?" Ren wanted to know.

" Yoh…he KILLED AN ORANGE!" The Ainu said.

" 'Killed'?" Hao looked questioningly at Horohoro.

" So?" Chocolove looked equally bewildered.

" YOH WOULD NEVER KILL AN ORANGE! HE LOVES THEM TOO MUCH! HE EVEN ATE A MOULDY ORANGE BEFORE AND GOT WARDED FOR FOOD POISONING IN THE HOSPITAL!" Horohoro said, before collapsing into a heap from saying everything in one breath.

Hao glared at the citrus fruit, before going over to try to kick Horohoro for the sheer fun of it. However, said shaman shot up and smiled lunatically.

" Hey Hao! " Hao froze for a moment, before Pirika came over and slapped Horohoro.

" That's Yoh! Not Hao! Stop hallucinating!"

" Oh right. Hey Yoh, you wanna play CandyLand?" He held out one half on the board game suggestively.

" No."

" Watch the Teletubbies?"

" No."

" Eat an orange? "

" No."

" Buy a milk bottle? "

" No."

" Play Peek-a-Boo? "

" No."

" What's wrong with you, Yoh! You're so moody! You won't even play CandyLand! "

" I will not touch that atrocity. Now shut up-" Hao was cut off by Horohoro flinging something onto his head.

Everyone stared in horror at the diaper sitting on top of the brunette's head, before they burst out laughing at the sight.

To make it worse, the diaper looked liked it had been, _er_, used (you know, like a baby has kind of worn it before?).

Hao calmly pulled the offending object from his head and held it as far away from himself as possible. " Where did you get this? "

" OH! At the toy fair, I saw a woman changing her baby's diaper in the toilet, so I took it! " Everyone's mouth hung open in shock. What kind of lunacy was this now?

Hao glared at the seemingly retarded Ainu.

" Um, Horohoro, I think you should-" Tamao began.

" What? I can take anything the Great Spirits throw at me! "

" Not that!"

" Are you done talking yet?"

Horohoro slowly turned around to see a very murderous-looking Yoh holding the Spirit of Sword in one hand.

" Hehe…" Was all Horohoro could muster, before he broke into a run.

" Celestial Slash! "

The loud boom that resonated throughout the whole of Tokyo was nothing compared to a certain shaman's screams of terror.

**-----------------**

**With Yoh, Opacho and the Hana-gumi **

" It will be too late to change your mind, Asakura Hao and your subordinates. " A feminine voice said.

-_sacrificial music plays- _

Yoh turned around… to see the X-LAWS, at the same time thinking _oh crap_.

Yoh smiled sheepishly as Marco rolled the Iron Maiden forward.

" Man, how stupid. Can't your oh-so-great-Mistress-Jeanne- walk? Or does that bitchy Iron Maiden think she needs to be wheeled around everywhere? " Macchi said rudely, glaring at the Iron Maiden.

Marco's face reddened in anger, and he shook his fist at the redhead. " You will not get away with insulting The Iron Maiden Mistress Jeanne!"

"Oh, now it's '**_The_**_ Iron Maiden'_, right, Blondie? "

Marco popped a vein, and glared daggers at Macchi. He readied his gun, about to summon Michael.

" Marco, calm down. The X-laws will not tolerate any rash acts. Our mission is to eliminate Asakura Hao, before he can do any damage during this Shaman Fight. What will happen after he gets reincarnated 500 years from now will be up to our descendents. And besides, this is nothing compared to what I have endured trying to erase evil from the world."

Even Yoh had to snort in derision at the Iron Maiden's last comment.

" Hmph. If you really wanted to do that, you'd have to kill yourself too," Kanna said, as Ashcroft appeared beside her.

Yoh began to panic internally. Okay, what was he supposed to do now? As much as he disliked the X-laws, he had no intention of killing any of them. But if he didn't do anything, Mari, Macchi and Kanna would probably end maiming them. And if he didn't allow any of them to do anything, he'd get killed. And he'd never get back into his own body.

_-I HATE YOU HAO! AND YOU GREAT SPIRITS! Okay, I take that back! It's wrong to hate people! Or spirits! Think peace! But that doesn't solve the problem at hand- _

" WHAT TO DOOOOOOOO!" Yoh exclaimed, and started crying a puddle of tears.

" I see that you are overwhelmed by Mistress Jeanne's greatness, Hao!"

Yoh sat up. Wait…he knew that voice.

" Lyserg?"

" Hao! I will kill you and avenge my parents!" The British Shaman yelled.

" Lyserg-kun! Long time no see!" Yoh evidently hadn't heard Lyserg's previous declaration.

" Lyserg-kun? What are you up to now, Hao?"

" Hey! I'm not up to anything! Why would I?" Yoh protested, not realizing full well that since he was in Hao's body, any reassurance wasn't convincing, since any reassurance from Hao usually turned out to be a death trap.

"…AND BESIDES…I'M **_NOT_** HAO-" Yoh yelled, before the Hana-gumi all gasped.

Lyserg's and all the other X-laws faces' mirrored the same confusion. Not Hao? What did he mean?

" Hao-sama! No! This can't be happening!" Mari yelled, clutching Yoh in an overly, er, close hug.

Yoh didn't notice the disturbing hug, and proceeded to stand up, yelling," YES! YOU HEARD ME RIGHT! I'M NOT HAO, I'M-"

Mari clapped a hand over Yoh's mouth. " Eheh…Hao-sama…This is for your own good!"

Yoh glared at Mari, who yelped at the sight of the murderous glare, and removed her hand from his mouth.

Lyserg proceeded to glare at Hao, and took out his pistol, about to attack Yoh with his Archangel, Zeruel.

" Stop, Lyserg Diethel. I will handle this fiend." The Iron Maiden swung open a crack, giving off a blinding beam of bright light.

Yoh sweatdropped and shielded his eyes from the blinding light.

Marco was absolutely furious (because he just felt like it). His face was going from crimson red to blue from lack oxygen. He managed to let out a strangled 'MICHAEL!', fire his gun, summon the Archangel, which faded from existence due to its master losing consciousness, before he collapsed from bursting a major artery. Mina and the remaining X-laws quickly transferred some of their furyoku into him, saving him from a certain death.

" Tsk. How stupid, " Kanna shook her head in mock pity, looking at the X-laws, and Marco sprawled on the ground.

The Iron Maiden is STILL giving off a blinding white light, and is STILL opened only a crack. Yoh expected the Iron Maiden to open, and the leader of the X-laws to step out wearing her ridiculous metal headdress (Well to Yoh, it IS ridiculous). He tensed his muscles (Hao _does_ seem to have a lot) and waited. And waited.

Minutes ticked by, and yet the doors of the Iron Maiden didn't open. Like it was jammed. No it WAS jammed. At least that's how it looked. They heard a violent banging sound coming from the inside. Apparently Mistress Jeanne's attempt to kick open the malfunctioned doors were all in vain.

" SHIT! KUSO! WHY WON'T THIS DAMNED DOOR OPEN!" The leader of the X-laws normally more, er, gentle voice rang out from inside the Iron Maiden.

" GREAT! NOW THIS STUPID DOOR HAS RUINED MY GRAND ENTRANCE!"

Marco, who had just woken up, gasped in shock as his eyes became bloodshot and bugged out of his head, at hearing his great Iron Maiden Mistress Jeanne… CURSE! That was against the code of the X-laws! (Okay, fine, so maybe all of them had already violated it, but, Mistress Jeanne would NEVER CURSE!) She couldn't have done! He must be hearing things! Lyserg looked kind of shocked too, but at least he didn't look as shocked (and stupid) as Marco, whose mouth was hung open in shock.

Marco fainted for the second time in the day, in under ten minutes.

Yoh looked slightly amused at X-laws trying to shake Marco back into consciousness, and at the enraged leader of the X-laws trying (and failing) to kick open the doors of the Iron Maiden.

" GREAT! OPEN YOU STUPID IRON MAIDEN! I AM NEVER GOING INTO YOU AGAIN, IF THAT FOUL FIEND ASAKURA HAO DOESN'T KILL ME THERE AND THEN! NOT AFTER I HAVE BEEN IN YOU FOR 156 CONSECUTIVE DAYS SINCE I LAST CAME OUT!"

The Hana-gumi's jaw dropped.

" 156 DAYS WITHOUT EATING, DRINKING, SLEEPING!" Macchi screamed in shock.

" Do you know what IT MEANS? 156 DAYS WITHOUT BATHING! Ohmigosh! That Mistress Jeanne probably STINKS like CRAP!" Kanna said, gasping in revulsion.

At this, all of the Hana-gumi screamed in terror, and Yoh amusedly watched as the already enraged Iron Maiden started yelling at the Hana-gumi, while trying to get the doors of her contraption to open without breaking her leg.

" OH SHUT IT YOU IMBECILES! " Was the Iron Maiden's _very _frustrated reply.

Yoh stood there, a sheepish smile plastered on his face. H'mm…this would be a VERY good time to escape. Okay, how does Hao do that vanishing thingy…_Oh well, here goes nothing- _

Suddenly, the Spirit of Fire appeared, engulfing him, the Hana-gumi and Opacho in flames.

" Ja-ne! Lyserg-kun I hope to see you soon!" Yoh smiled triumphantly at the furious X-laws, especially Marco who was going red in the face in fury on seeing Yoh's smugness.

" HELLO! I'M STILL STUCK! " Mistress Jeanne was screaming. " DON'T TELL ME THAT EVIL HAO ESCAPED!"

All the X-laws confirmed the fact, which led to the Iron Maiden yelling and cursing for yet another hour, much to the other X-laws' shock and horror.

--------------------------------

**So, how's this chappie? Sorry to those of you who were hoping that Yoh would fight the X-laws in this chapter. I originally intended the fight to be in this chappie, but it would be too long. I promise it'll be in the next chapter. So anyway, pls review! I'd like to know what you think of this story!**

**P.S Yes, I know some characters, especially Mistress Jeanne are OOC.**


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